The Secret to Motivating Others

This is graduation season. One commencement tradition for graduates and their families is listening to speeches by distinguished alumni. Many of these speeches are motivational in nature. The speaker exhorts the graduates to:

• celebrate their accomplishments to date,
• make their mark by positively changing the world, or
• step out of their comfort zone by taking risks and trying new things.

Given that the speeches are rarely remembered — let alone accomplish their goal of motivating the graduates — the question arises, "How do we motivate someone?" How do parents, employers, and coaches motivate their children, employees, and athletes, respectively?

In an interview on NPR during graduation season, Professor Steven Reiss of The Ohio State University and Author Daniel Pink were asked how best to motivate someone.

According to Reiss, "It makes no sense to try to motivate another individual by appealing to values they do not have. Yet people try this all the time because of self-hugging."

Self-hugging is the natural tendency to think our values are best, not just for ourselves, but for everyone. People who discover how great it feels to win think they have learned something about human nature — that winning feels great — when in reality they have learned something about themselves — that winning feels great to them. Due to self-hugging, competitive people do not realize that others prefer cooperation and thus do not value winning. Similarly, people who find significant joy in socializing with friends believe they have discovered a universal truth — that peer companionship is necessary for happiness — when they have actually learned a truth about their own nature — that spending time with peers is necessary for their happiness. Extroverts self-hug when they fail to understand that other people may value privacy and solitude.

To motivate another person, you have to appeal to their values. Too often we try to motivate others by indoctrinating them in our values rather than by appealing to theirs. For example:

• Hardworking parents try to motivate their children by telling them how important it is to be an achiever. This message, however, will not resonate with a child who values leisure and work-life balance rather than achievement.
• Employers use bonuses to motivate their employees, but only some workers are motivated by extra money. Others are motivated by a need to feel competent and/or by a need to feel they are contributing to society.
• Coaches encourage their athletes to play hard for the team, an appeal that will not motivate those players who are focused on their own success.

How can we learn the values of someone we want to motivate?

The Reiss Motivation Profile® (RMP) is a scientific tool that was developed to assess the goals and values that drive human behavior. For example, one motive assessed by the RMP is the need for Independence, defined as the desire for self-reliance. Individuals with a strong need for Independence value personal freedom, whereas those with a weak need for this basic desire value collaboration with others. To motivate employees who value personal freedom, a boss would be wise to assign them to independent projects on which they mostly work alone, determine the direction of the project, and are responsible for deciding what support is needed. In contrast, employees who value collaboration with others should be offered group projects during which team members work together to share ideas and make joint decisions.

In summary, if you want to motivate someone, you should focus on what that person cares about — that is, the person’s goals and values.